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The Sutherland Shire Gazette

Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical local news since 2024

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Adults in a hallway look shocked at a whiteboard covered in game scores. Headline Text: Under 7's Soccer Regrading Scandal Erupts After 10-0 "Victory" Built Entirely on Wrong Goals. Parents Call for VAR Review.

Adults in a hallway look shocked at a whiteboard covered in game scores. Headline Text: Under 7's Soccer Regrading Scandal Erupts After 10-0 "Victory" Built Entirely on Wrong Goals. Parents Call for VAR Review.

Under 7's Soccer Regrading Scandal Erupts After 10-0 "Victory" Built Entirely on Wrong Goals. Parents Call for VAR Review.

20 hours ago2 min read

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

Person with a yellow-green umbrella stands on a flooded sports field at sunset. Text headline: Dont even bother: local sports season already declared a washout by weather gods. Mood: somber.

“Don’t Even Bother”: Local Sports Season Already Declared a Washout by Weather Gods

Mar 302 min read

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Aerial view of an empty Cronulla Sharks football stadium beside apartment buildings, surrounded by trees. Headline: Exclusive Investigation on 'North Cronulla Surf Club Virus' by Harper Vale.

Mysterious Delay Syndrome Spreads: Sharks Leagues Club Caught ‘North Cronulla Virus’

Mar 291 min read

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Group of men in sportswear on a soccer field, practicing drills. Text reads: "Local Dads in Panic After Volunteering as Coaches."

Local Dads in Full Pre-Season Panic After Accidentally Volunteering as Soccer Coaches

Mar 221 min read

Blakey Johnston leads Cronulla to Victory Smashing World Record for Biggest Paddle Out in Support of Youth Mental Health

Mar 142 min read

Reader Tip-Off: Local Group Proposes Penny Farthings and Unicycles to Fix Shire's Ebike Chaos

Mar 141 min read

Sunset over Cronulla Beach, surfers gathered for a paddle out event. Headline mentions Blakey Johnstone, organized by Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Sunset over Cronulla Beach, surfers gathered for a paddle out event. Headline mentions Blakey Johnstone, organized by Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Blakey Johnstone to Make Waves (Literally) with World’s Biggest Paddle Out This Saturday at Cronulla Beach

Mar 122 min read

Teen surfer watching waves on surfing on TV, cozy in a dim room. Headline: Local teen mysteriously has gastro before cyclone swell. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Teen surfer watching waves on surfing on TV, cozy in a dim room. Headline: Local teen mysteriously has gastro before cyclone swell. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Local Teen Surfer Mysteriously Develops "Gastro" Days Before Cyclone Swell Arrives

Mar 42 min read

Text reads "EXCLUSIVE: Shire's Favourite Reality Show? Yowie Bay Boat Ramp Chaos." Image of the Yowie Bay boat ramp on a sunny day with parked cars and palm trees. Photo credit Sutherland Shire Council

Text reads "EXCLUSIVE: Shire's Favourite Reality Show? Yowie Bay Boat Ramp Chaos." Image of the Yowie Bay boat ramp on a sunny day with parked cars and palm trees. Photo credit Sutherland Shire Council

Shire’s Favourite Reality Show? Yowie Bay Boat Ramp Chaos Draws Local Spectators

Feb 281 min read

Satirical artist's impression aerial view of proposed Dolans Bay Marina with large yachts docked. Text reads: "BREAKING: Local Dinghies in Shock as Dolans Bay Marina Expansion Paves Way for Mega Yachts".

Satirical artist's impression aerial view of proposed Dolans Bay Marina with large yachts docked. Text reads: "BREAKING: Local Dinghies in Shock as Dolans Bay Marina Expansion Paves Way for Mega Yachts".

Local Dinghies in Shock as Dolans Bay Marina Expansion Paves Way for Mega Yachts

Feb 222 min read

NRL Sharks & Panthers Take Vegas: The Hangover 4 Film Practically Writes Itself

NRL Sharks & Panthers Take Vegas: The Hangover 4 Film Practically Writes Itself

NRL Sharks & Panthers Take Vegas: The Hangover 4 Film Practically Writes Itself

Feb 192 min read

Bonnie Vale boat ramp closure for Australia Day. Locals upset. Media release on waterfront image. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Bonnie Vale boat ramp closure for Australia Day. Locals upset. Media release on waterfront image. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Bonnie Vale Boat Ramp Mysteriously Shut For Australia Day Weekend - Locals Smell a Stitch-Up

Feb 112 min read

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