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The Sutherland Shire Gazette

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Serving Sutherland Shire's finest satirical news since 2024

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Local News & Nonsense

Man with gray beard examining electric lawn mower in a sunny garden. Headline reads: "Local Dad Baffled..." under "Sutherland Shire Gazette."

Finn Seabrook

Feb 162 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Local Boomer Dad Baffled by Newfangled Electric Mower: ‘Where’s the Two-Stroke?

Collage of outdoor facebook marketplace adverts for outdoor wicker lounge sets, and Headline: "SHIRE'S MOST WANTED." scam

Riley Corbett

Feb 152 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Shire's Most Wanted: The Outdoor Lounge That Keeps Getting 'Resold' - But Never Gets Delivered!

Male and Female Couple kissing on a train platform, with text about train strikes on Valentine's Day. Background shows train tracks and station signs. Romantic mood.

Finn Seabrook

Feb 142 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Love Delayed is Love Found: Train Strikes Return for Valentine’s Day Special

Woman typing on a computer at a desk with warning about a job scam. Geocities login screen displayed. Text details security alert.

Riley Corbett

Feb 132 min read

Data Entry Scam Strikes: Sutherland Shire Residents Warned Not to Hand Over Their Lives

Bonnie Vale boat ramp closure for Australia Day. Locals upset. Media release on waterfront image. Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Liam Montgomery

Feb 122 min read

Bonnie Vale Boat Ramp Mysteriously Shut For Australia Day Weekend - Locals Smell a Stitch-Up

Ford Range Raptor ute with green P-plates at intersection, surrounded by cars and pedestrians. Traffic light shows green. Headline about P-plater featured.

Finn Seabrook

Feb 112 min read

Local P-Plater in Ford Ranger Raptor Clearly the Most Important Person in the Shire

Woman pushing Aldi shopping trolley with a mountain goat statue inside, in front of Southgate shopping centre. Text above reads: "EXCLUSIVE: Southgate..."

Finn Seabrook

Feb 101 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Southgate Showdown: Aldi Rumours Send Shoppers Into Meltdown

Street scene with tipped garbage bins in a suburban area, trees lining the road. Headline: "Bonnet Bay Bin Carnage: Like Mad Max."

Riley Corbett

Feb 92 min read

Bonnet Bay Garbage Bin Carnage: “It’s Like a Scene from Mad Max”

Athletes in colorful gear race on Wanda Beach, with a crowd in the background. Headline and details about the Sydney Branch Champs overlay.

Liam Montgomery

Feb 82 min read

Wanda Beach Gears Up for the Most Prestigious Race of the Sydney Branch Champs: The Sand Hose Chase

Split image: left shows a sandy riverbank with trees and a single abandoned croc shoe on the sand, right shows vintage boats on water. Text reads "Port Hacking Regatta in Jeopardy."

Finn Seabrook

Feb 72 min read

Port Hacking Putters Regatta in Jeopardy After “Croc Sighting”

Woman Property Manager smiling in front of apartments with "For Lease" sign. Headline above: "Tenant gets 100% bond back." Evening setting, urban area.

Sandy Shores

Feb 62 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Miranda Woman Shatters Local Myth: First Tenant Ever to Get 100% Bond Back Without a Shouting Match

Bathroom door with a "BUSY" sign on the handle. Text above reads: "Local Parents Celebrate First Silent Wee of the Year."

Finn Seabrook

Feb 52 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Local Parents Celebrate First Silent Wee of the Year

News headline about Woronora's Chinese restaurant getting a posthumous Michelin star. Background shows the Woronora RSL building and War Memorial in the car park

Sandy Shores

Feb 42 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Woronora’s Legendary Chinese Restaurant Awarded Posthumous Michelin Star—Locals Say ‘About Time!’

Street view of Box Road Jannali and another insert photo with a cap and bumper sticker labelled "JANNALI: living the dream." Headline reads "Casino Precinct to Replace Whatever’s Left."

Finn Seabrook

Feb 32 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Jannali’s Next Big Gamble: Casino Precinct to Replace Whatever’s Left in Jannali's Masterplan

Mannequin in colourful dress stands in a tree outside a house. Headline reads "Heads Will Roll - Mannequin Theft Sparks Frenzy in Gymea."

Riley Corbett

Feb 12 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Heads Will Roll: Mannequin Theft Sparks Frenzy in Gymea

Shire Boarding School Headmaster smiling on a beach with a Boarding school resembling Hogwarts castle in the background. Text: Exclusive article about school holidays and boarding school rumors. Mood is whimsical.

Finn Seabrook

Jan 312 min read

Longest School Holidays on Record Push Shire Parents to Breaking Point: Rumours of Cronulla Boarding School Emerge

Commuters at Sutherland Station notice someone wearing unique leather-toed shoes. The mood is surprised. Text: Sutherland Shire Gazette.

Finn Seabrook

Jan 302 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Commuter Causes Stir at Sutherland Station with Outrageous Leather-Toed Shoes

Coach in blue kit with a whistle on a soccer field, parents and spectators in background. Headline: Dreams of the World Cup: Shire Parents Pin Hopes on School Holiday Soccer Camps.

Liam Montgomery

Jan 292 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Dreams of the World Cup: Shire Parents Pin Hopes on School Holiday Soccer Camps

Film crew setups outside Rydges hotel by the beach at sunset. Headline: "BREAKING: The White Lotus Rumoured To Be Eyeing Rydges Cronulla."

Skye Waverley

Jan 282 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Rumor Mill: The White Lotus Eyeing Rydges Cronulla for Next Season

Blue car parked on street in front of a house across the driveway blocking access. Headline and details overlayed about a local feud.

Finn Seabrook

Jan 262 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Beach Day Blowout: Cronulla Driveway Drama Sparks Local Feud

Newspaper headline about a Kareela man fast-tracking pedestrian lights. Below, the intersection of Freya Street and Bates Drive Kareela, with traffic lights, a blue sky, and cars.

Sandy Shores

Jan 252 min read

Kareela Man Unlocks Secret to Fast-Track Pedestrian Lights: ‘I’m Practically a Traffic Whisperer’

A newspaper headline discusses local support for a KFC in a city setting. The image shows Miranda KFC building with blue skies above.

Finn Seabrook

Jan 242 min read

Lifestyle & Social

Local Icon, Finger-Lickin’ Landmark: Shire Rallies to Protect Beloved Miranda KFC Amid Chargrill Charlie’s Arrival in Sylvania

Cyclists in gear ride in a street race. Background shows shops and spectators. Headline reads: "MAMILs Strike Back: E-Bike 500."

Liam Montgomery

Jan 232 min read

Local news & nonsense

MAMILs Strike Back: Middle-Aged Riders Announce Their Own E-Bike 500

Men in suits stand by SUVs in the sand dunes, looking like an entourage. Headline reads: "EXCLUSIVE: Trump Targets Kurnell?" Sky is clear, creating a serious mood.

Blake Curran

Jan 222 min read

Trump Targets Kurnell? Locals Brace for "The Art of the Sand Deal"

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