Bonnie Vale Boat Ramp Mysteriously Shut For Australia Day Weekend - Locals Smell a Stitch-Up

Liam Montgomery | Sports Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

12 February 2025

Boaters across the Sutherland Shire were left scratching their sunburnt heads over the mysterious closure of the recent Bonnie Vale Boat Ramp on the busiest weekend of the year—Australia Day. A media release, taped to various poles and shared across local Facebook groups like "Boating Sutherland Shire", simply stated that the ramp would be closed "to prevent congestion," a reason so baffling that even the local pelicans looked confused.

"Closing a boat ramp to stop people using it?" said local fisherman Steve, gripping his now-useless trailer hitch. "That’s like shutting down the Princes Highway because too many people drive on it. What’s next? Cancelling summer because it’s too hot?"

The conspiracy theories quickly flooded in. Was it a sneaky council plot to boost kayak sales? A shadowy jet ski lobbyist pulling the strings? One local suggested it was an attempt to force boaters to launch from Mainbar, purely for entertainment value.

"And what about the bloke racing around inside the port in his cigarette boat?" said local boater Chris, shaking his head. "That thing’s ten times more dangerous than a jet ski, but sure—let’s shut down the boat ramp instead."

With no ramp access, desperate boaters took to scouting for alternative launch points, with reports of someone attempting to back their trailer into Gunnamatta Bay Pool before being stopped by horrified parents.

As for official responses? Silence. Absolute silence. Not even a token "we appreciate your patience" post. But one thing’s for sure—when the ramp magically reopens next week, the real mystery won’t be why it was closed… but who, exactly, thought this was a good idea.