Cost of Living Crisis Hits Hard: Shire Ute Owners Now Demand TWO Slabs for Mates’ Moving Jobs—And It Better Be Craft Beer

Brock Ledger | Economics Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

28 February 2025

In a tragic turn of events for renters everywhere, the cost of moving house in the Sutherland Shire has skyrocketed—not only does it now cost two slabs of beer instead of one to borrow a mate’s ute, but a simple case of VB no longer cuts it.

Local ute owner and self-proclaimed “logistics expert” Brett “Macca” McIntyre confirmed the grim new standard. “Mate, I’m not breaking my back hauling your dodgy IKEA couch down three flights of stairs for a case of VB. This is 2024. We’re talking at least a case of craft beers, or I’m out.”

Shire residents who once got by with a humble slab of Tooheys are now facing premium boutique beer inflation, with some movers demanding only limited-release IPAs, artisanal lagers, or even hazy pale ales with notes of citrus and regret.

“I offered a bloke a case of Great Northern, and he just laughed,” said devastated Miranda renter Tom Stevens. “Told me if it wasn’t brewed by a bearded bloke in Byron Bay, I could forget about borrowing his ute. What’s next? A full tasting menu and beer sommelier?”

Meanwhile, local dad-of-three and part-time removalist Darren “Dazza” Thompson has implemented a strict slab-to-effort exchange rate, charging an extra four-pack for every set of stairs and a surcharge for “mates who suddenly disappear when it’s time to move the fridge.”

With moving costs now at an all-time high, experts predict the return of an ancient Shire tradition: simply abandoning old furniture on the kerb and pretending it’s “for council pickup.”