Cronulla Mall Declares Walking Outdated: Fatboy E-Bikes Now Mandatory

Finn Seabrook | Local Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

4 January 2025

In a groundbreaking move that has left pedestrians fuming and e-bike dealers rejoicing, Sutherland Shire Council has announced a ban on walking in Cronulla Mall. From next week, residents and visitors will be required to navigate the area exclusively on Fatboy e-bikes, the ultimate symbol of modern Shire mobility.

“Walking is so 2022,” declared Councillor BlakeTurner during the controversial announcement. “The future of Cronulla is electric, wide-tired, and moving at a casual 25km/h.”

The Sutherland Shire Gazette was tipped off last week by local resident “Guille”. The decision, aimed at “reducing foot traffic congestion and injecting a sense of adventure into errands,” has divided the community. Supporters claim it’s a step toward innovation, while critics argue it’s a thinly veiled ploy to boost e-bike sales.

Local pedestrian Barbara “Barb” Jenkins, 67, expressed her outrage. “I’ve been walking Cronulla Mall every morning since 1983! Now I need a licence and a helmet to buy my bread? Ridiculous!”

The council, however, remains firm, insisting the move will enhance the mall’s “vibe.” Plans are underway to replace pedestrian crossings with bike ramps, and Fatboy-exclusive parking bays are being installed outside popular cafes.

But the changes have already sparked chaos. Last night, a “Test Ride Thursday” initiative turned into a high-octane traffic jam, with rookie e-bikers crashing into pot plants and narrowly avoiding Gelatissimo patrons.

Environmental groups have also raised concerns, questioning whether the new policy undermines efforts to promote walking as a green alternative. “We were all for e-bikes... until we realized we can’t even stroll through the mall anymore,” said Green Shire activist Willow Lane.

Meanwhile, local Fatboy retailers are struggling to meet demand. “We sold out in hours,” confirmed Cronulla E-Bike Emporium owner, Jake Power. “One guy bought two—he said he didn’t trust his wife to share.”

As the Shire debates the merits of the plan, one thing’s certain: Cronulla Mall has officially gone from pedestrian-friendly to pedal-powered chaos.

Fatboy e-bikes mandatory cronulla