Loftus Dad Declared ‘Tech Archaeologist’ After Hoarding Vintage Cables for Decades

Cove Smithson | Summer Intern Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

6 January 2025

In a discovery that has shocked no one but amused everyone, Graham from Loftus has been dubbed the Shire’s very own “Tech Archaeologist” after his son stumbled upon a dusty box of what can only be described as a museum-worthy collection of obsolete cables.

The box, found lurking in the darkest corner of the garage, contains a tangled mass of relics from a bygone era: Nokia chargers, serial cables, VGA connectors, and even a pristine fax line splitter. Graham, 58, insists these cables are “still perfectly good” and could be essential in a technological emergency.

“You never know when someone might need to recharge a Nokia 3310 or send a fax to 1995,” Graham explained, holding up a coiled yellowing phone cord with the reverence of an Indiana Jones finding the Holy Grail.

Despite the Sutherland Shire Council’s regular e-waste collections, Graham has clung to his treasures, convinced that the day will come when the world will need them again. “They’ll thank me when the internet goes down and all we have left are fax machines,” he said with a smug grin.

Graham’s son, Jake, 24, isn’t quite as convinced. “I found it while looking for an extension cord,” Jake said. “Dad’s hoarding cables for devices that probably belong in a time capsule.”

Local tech experts have weighed in, with one suggesting Graham’s collection could serve as a valuable teaching aid in schools to show kids “how people used to live before wireless charging.” Others aren’t so sure. “It’s more likely these cables will see the light of day in a garage sale for 50 cents each,” remarked one e-waste enthusiast.

Meanwhile, rumors are swirling that the Sutherland Shire Historical Society is interested in acquiring Graham’s collection for a new exhibit titled “When Tech Had Tails.” Graham, however, isn’t ready to part with his prized possessions. “They’ve been with me this long,” he said. “What’s another decade?”

As Graham continues to guard his box of cables like a dragon with its hoard, one thing is clear: in a world moving towards minimalism, there will always be room in Loftus for a little bit of technological nostalgia.