Newly Vegan Local Faces Moral Crisis Over Chicken Salt: "I Wasn't Ready for This"

Finn Seabrook | Local Correspondent | Sutherland Shire Gazette

12 April 2025

A newly converted vegan from Miranda has been thrown into a deep existential crisis after facing her first true test of willpower - declining chicken salt on her hot chips.

Samantha Hayes, 27, made the switch to a plant-based lifestyle just last week after watching half of a Netflix documentary on the meat industry. Armed with a newfound sense of purpose and a tote bag that says “Plants Have Feelings Too”, she confidently strutted into her local takeaway shop, ready to embrace her new ethical path.

But what she didn’t see coming was the question that would shake her very soul.

"Chicken salt on that?" asked the friendly but entirely unaware teenager behind the counter.

Time stood still. The room spun. Hayes’ moral compass short-circuited. Could she truly call herself vegan if she said yes? Could she truly call herself Shire-born if she said no?

“I panicked,” she admitted, still shaken from the ordeal. “I asked what was in it, and he just shrugged and said ‘I dunno, it’s just chicken salt’. That’s when I knew I was in real trouble.”

After what witnesses describe as “a long, painful silence,” Hayes whispered a weak “just plain salt, please” before leaving the store, visibly shaken and questioning all of her life choices.

Sources close to Hayes say she is now reconsidering the sustainability of her vegan commitment, citing “too many grey areas” and “no one really knowing what’s in BBQ Shapes either”.