Shocking Truth Revealed - What All Those Sirens in the Shire Are Really About

Blake Curran | Investigative Journalist | Sutherland Shire Gazette

10 January 2025

In a shocking exposé that has rocked local Facebook groups like Everything Sutherland Shire and Anything Sutherland Shire, The Sutherland Shire Gazette has confirmed that sirens frequently heard on streets like President Avenue and the Kingsway are, in fact, emergency services responding to emergencies.

For years, these sirens have been the subject of intense online speculation. Posts like “Anyone know what those sirens are on the Kingsway?” or “Why is there a chopper circling over Cronulla?” have racked up hundreds of comments, ranging from wild theories (“It’s a Netflix doco being filmed!”) to mundane guesses (“Probably someone burnt toast again.”).

Our exclusive investigation has finally solved the mystery. After weeks of digging, we obtained a statement from Senior Constable Ray McMahon of Sutherland Police Station: “Yes, the sirens are us. We’re attending emergencies. That’s... kind of our whole job.”

The revelation has left Shire Facebook groups reeling, particularly “Mrs. Mangles”-style resident Carol “Eyes on the Street” Jorgensen, who’s known for her unparalleled ability to monitor neighborhood happenings. Carol reportedly has an entire notebook filled with timestamps, siren directions, and suspicious car sightings.

“I thought it was something more exciting,” Carol admitted. “Like a celebrity scandal or, I don’t know, an underground fight club. But emergencies? Bit of a letdown, really.”

To appease disappointed Facebook sleuths, local authorities are considering installing a real-time “Emergency Reason” notification board on President Avenue. “Imagine it flashing: ‘House Fire—No One Famous Involved,’ or ‘Minor Crash—Move Along,’” joked Constable McMahon.

Despite the anticlimactic outcome, Carol and her loyal band of commenters vow to keep investigating. “You never know,” Carol said, binoculars in hand. “One day it might be a celebrity.”

Meanwhile, Sutherland Shire emergency services continue to request that residents call Triple Zero for emergencies instead of posting them on Facebook.