Sirens on President Avenue: Shire Residents Demand Answers as Investigations Ramp Up

Blake Curran | Investigative Journalist | Sutherland Shire Gazette

5 January 2025

The Sutherland Shire is abuzz with speculation after a series of mysterious sirens were heard roaring along President Avenue late last week. Concerned residents flooded local Facebook groups like Everything Sutherland Shire and Anything Sutherland Shire with posts such as, “Four sirens just flew past—anyone know what’s going on?” and “Choppers overhead again! Is it a sting operation?!”

Leading the charge is Helen “Mrs. Mangles” Crowther, a self-appointed community watchdog who claims she heard “at least five distinct sets of sirens” within 24 hours. “I haven’t slept since,” Crowther told The Sutherland Shire Gazette. “What are they hiding? My guess? Another fatboy e-bike pile-up. They’re like dominoes out there.”

In a dramatic twist, one anonymous resident reportedly hired a private investigator to crack the case after authorities failed to provide an official explanation. “We’re leaving no stone unturned,” the investigator said, sifting through dashcam footage in a Caringbah Bunnings car park.

Theories have flooded the comments section, ranging from plausible to downright absurd. One local suggested it was “the Fireys getting practice in for next summer,” while another speculated that it was “a rogue bin chicken uprising disrupting traffic”.

Despite the uproar, official investigations remain inconclusive. The Shire’s emergency services released a statement saying only, “The nature of sirens is that they signal emergencies.” But this has done little to quell suspicion.

“This is bigger than us,” Crowther declared, now armed with binoculars and a police scanner. “The Shire deserves the truth!”

As the community waits for answers, Facebook groups remain in a frenzy, with updates like “Anyone seen Mrs. Mangles today? Is she onto something?” dominating newsfeeds.

The Gazette will bring you more as this story develops—or as soon as Helen’s nephew hacks into the emergency services radio. Stay tuned.

Shire sirens investigations