Sutherland Shire Throws Santa Hat in the Ring to Host Christmas Day Beach Festivities.

Cove Smithson } Summer Intern Reporter | Sutherland Shire Gazette

2 January 2025

In a bold move to challenge Bronte Beach’s reign as Sydney’s chaotic Christmas Day hotspot, the Sutherland Shire Council has announced its official bid to host next year’s backpacker celebrations at Cronulla Beach. After another year of Bronte grappling with mountains of rubbish, rogue inflatable Santas, and questionable ukulele performances, the Shire says it’s time for a change.

“We’ve seen what happens when Bronte gets overwhelmed. It’s like Santa’s sleigh crash-landed into a landfill,” declared Councillor Gary “Goggles” Forrester. “Cronulla has the space, the vibes, and, most importantly, the bins to handle it.”

This bold proposal is a surprising pivot for the Shire, which has famously refused to host New Year’s Eve fireworks for decades, arguing that celebrating the New Year is “overrated” and “best left to Sydney Harbour.” But Christmas, they say, is different.

As part of their pitch, the Shire plans to rebrand Christmas Day at Cronulla as “Sand and Goon 2024,” promising beachgoers responsibly allocated sand spaces for their tarps, and a dedicated recycling station for the expected influx of discarded goon bags. “We’ll even have a prize for the most creative goon bag costume,” Forrester added.

Eastern Suburbs locals, however, have accused the Shire of “poaching” the event, sparking a fierce rivalry. A Bronte-based Facebook group posted, “Good luck, Cronulla. If you think you can handle 1,000 sunburned Santas and a drunken ukulele cover of ‘Wonderwall,’ be our guest.”

Council has already enlisted a team of volunteer “Goon Angels” to patrol the beach, ensuring discarded box wine remnants are properly disposed of. “It’s all about keeping Cronulla clean while embracing the chaos,” said Forrester.

Will the Shire dethrone Bronte as Sydney’s ultimate Christmas chaos capital? Only time—and goon bags—will tell